You Are a Terrible Judge of Yourself

I am a very harsh critic, not of other people, just of myself. 

I can't think of a single audition, play, or day of filming when I have left thinking "I nailed that!"  There are always moments missed, some fault that made me feel less than perfect.

Even worse is me watching tape of myself because all I see is how much I hate how my face looks when I turn my head that way or why didn't anyone tell me how bad my hair looked in the back.  These things that don't really matter, things that aren't related at all to my ability to act.  But, when I'm editing my own footage, darn it, if that isn't all I see.

This past week I had another reminder to not judge how I did in an audition.  Because I totally thought I blew one this week and it was kinda a big audition.  So big that the fact that I thought I'd blown it actually had me crying in my car.  Embarrassing but true.

Even more embarrassing is that I was totally wrong.  I booked the job.  It's not set in stone yet so I'm not sharing with you guys what it is.  Once I have the deal memo signed and all that, I will tell you all about it!  But, it is kind of a big one.

Remember you can't see how others see you and don't spend your time worrying how you think you did.  Because no matter what you think, it is probably wrong.

What I Learned in a Year

It's officially been a year since I started writing this blog.  The reason I began was to share some of my experience and pitfalls with my actor friends out there.  I explained Why You Should Listen to Me, which is pretty much that you probably shouldn't since anyone who claims to know anything in Hollywood is probably wrong.

I have to say I've learned a lot just from writing this blog.  Reminded me that I need to enjoy the journey, not to worry about my competition, and how to face rejection.  I got to share with you guys my success at making a movie in 72 hours, what inspired me at the Playhouse West Film Festival, and how I survived the Los Angeles Actorfest. 

Of course, I'm always learning more and am often reminded that I don't know everything.  Just this last week, I had one of those auditions that was not perfect and I forgot some of my own advice, by not owning my audition and losing my confidence.  But with every failure comes a chance to do it better the next time.  You know, what doesn't kill you ...


As the last blog in February it's time to see how my Career goals are going:

Goal: Attend class unless working an acting gig or sick
Actual: I didn't miss a single class this month :)

Goal: Work on scenes from plays I can put up.
Actual: Working on "Vanities" with a couple ladies from my class.

Goal: Read two plays a month.
Actual: I read "To Gillian on Her 37th Birthday" and "Five Women Wearing the Same Dress"

Goal: Find and attend a good on-camera class to supplement my acting classes.
Actual: Finishing up that commercial class with Chris Game.  I am thinking about starting to get a group of actors together to work on camera once a week.

Goal: Complete editing on both my films before the PWFF early bird deadline.
Actual: Not looking so good, but they will be finished!!!

Goal: Write and produce two more shorts this year.
Actual: Let's finish these other two first.

Goal: Continue to help at the agency once a week.
Actual: I've gone to the agency once a week and have been working on a Pilot Season project to help them be super organized.

Goal: Find three casting offices that I can help out at as a reader.
Actual: This month I continued helping out at the TV office and got to help them on their new Pilot.

Goal: Blog every Monday.
Actual: Blogged every week.  Plus you can check out my other blog: Being Crafty and Cultured in Los Angeles. 

Don't Talk Yourself Out of a Job

 Last week I was helping out at an audition and the scene we were using was only a page.  Most of the actors that came in to read were pros who had been in the business a long time and many of them would add a tiny improv to the end of the scene.  This is perfectly acceptable in most cases, especially in a pre-read when the writers aren't in the room.

But, make sure you know when to stop.  Adding one line is appropriate, but a page long monologue is not. 

One very talented comedian came in to read and added over a minute of dialogue after the scene was over.  The casting directors tried to get the actor to stop by saying thank you and he just kept talking.  Then as I was trying to escort the actor out of the room he did a whole schtick about me.  It was like he didn't want to leave the room and it was super uncomfortable for all of us. 

I know actors like to be the center of attention and that is especially true for comedians.  But, take the temperature of the room and know when your audition is done.  One good hint that they want you to leave is when the casting director says, "Thank You."  In casting director terms thank you means good bye.

This particular actor talked themselves out of even getting a callback.  Their read of the scene was actually one of the better ones, but the casting directors couldn't trust the actor in front of producers.

Don't lose a job because you don't know when to stop talking.  Casting directors aren't going to be impressed with your schtick, they just want to see your acting.

A New Year and New Goals

New Years is fast approaching and people will start asking you what resolutions you made, like that question isn't the least bit nosy and intrusive.  My answers are the same as everyone else: to work out more, eat healthier, stop procrastinating, blah blah blah.  They are all good ideas but they lack specificity and for that reason I'm making the same resolutions every year.

One of my teachers at Playhouse West gives out a great goals assignment every year that helps with those pitfalls.  The first step is to create goals not resolutions.  Goals are something that have a finite end point and they are only goals if it is something that you can do on your own without the approval of someone else.

So, how do you create goals?

I start with my dreams.  You know those things that you want so bad and seem so far away that saying them out loud makes your stomach go into knots.  (I talked a bit about that here.)  This is one of my dreams: to become a series regular in a hit TV show.  The reason this is a dream and can't be a goal is because I cannot do it wholly on my own.  I need other people's approval to get cast and an audience to watch. 

The next step is to break your dream down into smaller dreams that lead to it.  In the case of getting a series regular role the steps before that would be booking some guest stars and before that would be some co-star roles.  That is a more manageable place to start, but it is still a dream and not a goal.

What goals would help me book some more co-star roles? 

• Always attending acting class unless I have an acting gig or am sick and I will always be working on a scene.  Perfecting my craft will make sure that when I get an audition I am 100% prepared to be my best.
• Communicate with my agent at least once a month about what I need to be doing to make it easier for them to pitch me.  Make sure they know what my dreams are so they can help me achieve them.
• Attend one workshop a month with the casting directors who work in the type of TV shows that cast my type.

These are just a few ideas of the type of goals you can make that are specific and are something you can achieve.  The best thing to do is write your goals down in a place you see everyday as a reminder and then revisit your goals a few times during the year to adjust them as you achieve your dreams.

Wishing everyone a wonderful New Year filled with success.  Keep Dreaming!

Like Me, Please Like Me!

Edward Norton once said that one of the things he disliked about being an actor is that it's a career that requires other people giving you permission to do it.  Unlike a painter or poet you can't just go to your basement and be an actor.  Sure you could do a monologue for your stuffed animals, but an actor really needs an audience that listens and responds.  You can't act in a vacuum.

Remember Sally Field winning the Oscar and her joy in realizing that they liked her, they really liked her?  It took her winning an Oscar to figure that out?  Wasn't she America's Sweetheart when she was Gidget?  But, that lack of self-confidence is not uncommon in this industry which can have you being rejected on a daily basis.  Even the most talented actors are worried about when the next job will come along or if there will ever even be a next job.

An actor friend came to me recently concerned that she wasn't being cast in the shorts and webseries her other actor friends were filming.  She went into that downward spiral of questioning her talent, thinking she had none, and eventually landing on maybe it was time for her to give up.  On the outside, you can look into this situation and see all kinds of possible reasons she wasn't cast.  Maybe the parts weren't right for her or maybe they wrote parts specifically for someone who could bring in equipment or money.  But, when you are the actor inside looking out, it's hard not to take it as a comment on your own abilities.  We want so much for people to want us to be in their projects.

One reason actors constantly need approval from others is because we are unable to stand back and see our own work.  This is especially true in theater, but even on film it is nearly impossible to judge ourselves.  I remember an interview with Tea Leoni where she was asked if she ever watched herself in movies.  She said no, she hated watching herself because she could never see past her huge front teeth.  I've enjoyed a number of Tea Leoni movies and have never once noticed her front teeth. 

We are terrible judges of ourselves.  I know I am.  I can't tell you how many auditions I was sure I bombed that I then got a callback or cast.  And as far as looking to others for approval, what I've learned is that some people are going to like you no matter what.  Other people will hate you and you won't be able to change their mind, even if you were Meryl Streep.  You can't worry about what others think, eventually you'll find the people who like working with you and those are the ones worth worrying about.

What I Learned at ActorFest

This past Saturday I went to ActorFest, a free event for actors from Backstage.  There were casting director meet and greets, panels (those cost extra), and lots of booths for things that might be of interest to actors, like Scientology and psychotherapists.  It's a lot like ComicCon minus cosplay and Kevin Smith. 

This is what I learned at ActorFest 2011:

1. There are a lot of companies that seem to exist for the sole purpose of separating actors from their money.
2. Actors will do anything for a chance to talk with a casting director, including standing in line for over 3 hours to have a two-minute chat.
3. However, most actors are not willing to get up before 9am. 
4. I have no idea what to say to a casting  director in a two-minute general meeting.
5. Casting director's also have no idea what to say to actors in a two-minute general and their go-to question is "So, where are you from?"  Better than, do you come here often?  I guess.
6. There are some very sketchy people out there trying to be actors.
7. There are people who look gorgeous at 8am standing outside in the freezing cold.  I assume these people are genetic freaks.
8. If you are going to be standing in line for most of a day, bring snacks.  And if you ask me, peanut butter cups have protein and are therefore good for you.
9. High heels make your butt look pretty and your feet hurt.  If you are going to be spending all day in line, bring flats.
10. Apparently, Irish-American doesn't count as diverse to NBC.

I'm always pro going to free events when you have nothing else going on.  You never know who you are going to meet or what you'll learn.  This weekend I got to meet some cool actors and chatted with a few casting directors.  I'm not sure how much can be learned about someone in two-minutes, but it is more than they knew about me before this weekend.

Yeah, I waited in lines for most of the day, but all in all a fairly productive way to spend a Saturday.  Now time to write the follow-up thank you notes.

Don't Fear the Competition

I have a bad habit of walking into the lobby of an audition and immediately sizing up the room.  I look over everyone and find the person who by looks alone, I would give the part.  In my head, they are my main competition.

Jenna Fischer talks about being at the studio test for "The Office" and there were two other women up for the role.  She says one was gorgeous and obviously not right for Pam and the other perfectly fit her image of what Pam should look like.  She figured she had already lost the part.

You can see how trying to guess what they are looking for is wrong and if you let it get in your head it could hurt your audition.

A casting director once said to me that there really is only one person right for every role and it's their job to find that perfect person.  What that means is that you are never in competition with anyone else for a role.  You are either perfect or you aren't.

Besides it is not your job to book that one part, it is your job to book the room.  Never worry about getting one role in one film.  Instead focus on making fans of the casting director and anyone else in the casting room.  If they become your fan they will call you in for everything they can, eventually finding that role that you are perfect for. 

It is time for actors to stop looking at each other as the competition.   This is a tough enough business as is, we should all be supporting each other.

What are you working on now?

Yep, that is one of the most dreaded questions for actors.  Right up there with, Have you been in anything I would've seen?

Jobs for actors tend to be few and far between.  A good year for an average working actor would be about four jobs.  Unless one of those jobs is as a regular on a TV show, there is a lot of down time.

Of course, you are doing things like going to classes or on auditions.  But, answering the question with a list of auditions or a description of how you were really close getting this one role, but at the last minute they decided to cast the director's girlfriend, leads to blank stares and polite nods.

Let me tell you how I would answer this question:  We are in post-production on a five minute short that I wrote and shot last weekend.  I am in pre-production on a film that I've been working on for about 6 months.  We are going to shoot in two weeks.  Plus, I am in a play that has been running once a month for over a year.

That sounds pretty impressive, right?  It's all because I am being proactive by creating my own work.  It's easy in this town to sit back and wait for your agent to call but if you do that you may be sitting around a long time.

You don't have to look like a deer in headlights the next time someone asks you what you are working on.  Start creating on your own.  If you don't know where to begin, then find people to work with who do.  Form your own group of creative types and start working on something.

TV is Back (or why I love Fall.)

Fall is officially here.  The DVR is cleaned out and prepared for the onslaught of new television shows.  I can't tell you how happy this makes me.  The magical light box in the living room that tells me stories is pretty much my favorite thing ever.

My love for television may be genetic.  I've had entire conversations with my mother and sister about Ross and Rachel, Rory and Lorelei, Jack and Kate, and Quinn and Finn.  Deeply etched into my memory are final episodes of shows in the same way as a lost loved one.  Oh yeah, at 10 years old I sobbed inconsolably when "Family Ties" went off the air.  And who didn't shed a tear when Sam ended "Cheers" for the final time with the line Sorry, we're closed?  Well, I did.  In fact, I am pretty sure that my love of television is a big part of why I chose to become an actor.

This may be why one of my biggest pet peeves is when actors say with that super pretentious attitude I don't watch TV.  It makes me want to scream why on earth are you in this business then?  I don't actually scream that because I am a polite person, but truthfully there are lots of good reasons for actors to watch TV shows.

If you are an actor in LA and want to work then chances are you are going to go out for television series co-star and guest star roles.  The best way to prepare yourself for these auditions is to watch the shows.  That way you'll know the tone and look of the show.  Plus, you should be familiar with the main characters.  Don't be the guy that goes into an audition for "Community" asking, who is Jeff Winger?

If it's an audition for a show that hasn't aired yet, you can figure out a lot about what a show will be  based on what channel it's on and knowing other shows written or produced by the same people.  For instance, the new Aaron Sorkin show will probably involve walking and talking - at a very fast pace.  By watching TV you'll also know what shows are likely to cast your type so you can target those Casting Directors.  Basically watching television is necessary research for any actor that wants to work.

Plus, we should all be supporting scripted television by watching it because we want to keep those jobs coming for all of us actors.  I've been through a few non-existent pilot seasons because of the strike and all the reality shows that came out of it.  Let's not go back to that.

If you are still confused about how awesome television is, just watch Jane Lynch's intro to the 2011 Emmys.

How to Tackle those One-Liners.

Ask any actor and they will tell you the most difficult auditions they go on are for one line roles.  You see these on every TV show: the paramedics, nurses, waiters, receptionists with lines like, "Your table is right this way" or "The stab wound is in curtain two."

I went in for the role of "Assistant" on a TV show a few years back and the line was "Your dinner reservation is at 8."  At the audition, I walked into the room and said my line.  The casting director looked up at me and gave this direction: "Great.  Now say it like you're the assistant to a scientist."

What the hell does that mean?!  I mean, how would the assistant to a scientist say anything?

So, I turned around, took a breath, and just said the line again.  Did I say it like the assistant to a scientist?  I have no idea.

The problem with one-liners is that you don't have much to work with and how are you supposed to make yourself stand out with just one line?  A few weeks ago I went to a workshop with a casting associate who spent years casting a procedural drama that required a lot of your typical one-liner roles.  She had some great tips on tackling these roles.  Here are a few of them:

1. Don't over think it.  Generally, these roles are jobs and you do this job everyday.  It doesn't need to be dramatic.  Keep it simple.
2. Don't drag the line out with lots of unnecessary pauses.  I know it's a short line and you want to be seen for as long as possible, but it's more important to be truthful.
3. Give yourself a moment before you start the line.  You can turn or step into it.  This is a good moment for you to relax, but also practical because it gives the casting director time to find your name on her list so she can actually watch your audition.
4. Remember every part and line is important.  If it wasn't it wouldn't be in the script.  Put as much work into as you would any other audition.  And it's just one line, so please have it memorized.

Now that you've booked that one line role, what should you do?  Exactly what this guy did in his video, One Line on the Sopranos.  (I know I've posted this video before, but it's an awesome video and I'll take any excuse to watch it again.)

Are you your worst enemy?

Each of us find ways to sabotage our own careers.  The trick is to figure out what it you are doing to hurt your career and then work everyday to fight that.

Personally, I often question my abilities and especially my looks.  I will say to myself I am not pretty enough for that part or I don't have enough credits so they will never call me in.  This prevents me from going after roles I really want and then I will never be given a chance in the first place.

Have you ever been called in for something and then thought, this character doesn't look like me or I'm not the type of person they would cast in this role?  What do you do then?  Do you go to the audition and tell the casting director you aren't right for this or even worse do you not go to the audition at all? 

Both of these are the absolutely wrong choice.  Don't do the casting director's job for them.  You can't know what they are looking for, so go in, don't make excuses, and do the best work you can do.  Let them decide that your ears are too big, or your nose is crooked, or that your credits aren't enough.

Woody Allen famously said, "Eighty percent of success is just showing up."  Talking yourself out of trying for things that may seem difficult or out of your reach can be a self-protecting device to prevent you from being rejected.  But, I guarantee someone else will get 100% of the jobs you don't show up for.

Who the heck booked Pilots this year?

Now that the upfronts are pretty much over and we know which pilots got picked up and which ones didn't, there are those of us actors who didn't even get to go out for pilots much less book one.  So, of the pilots that got produced who did get those jobs? 

James J. Jones owner of The Premier Talent Group did the math for those of us not good with numbers:

“2011 PILOT SEASON stratification by the numbers
Of the 529 Series Regular Roles (assuming that named
doing recurring roles):

112 or 21.2% Went to NAMED ACTORS
262 or 49.5% -­ Went to KNOWN ACTORS
374 or 70.7% -­ Went to NAMED AND KNOWN ACTORS

*Of the additional 27.3% of the bookings, almost all of them had significant credits
as series recurring actors or series regulars in shows that did not last long. Only 7
bookings (2.0%) would be considered truly developmental received series regular
roles, and many of these went to the under 18 category.

In short,

21.2% of series roles went to bonafide star names (ie Ethan Hawke and Christina Ricci).
49.5% of series regulars went to former series regulars of major shows.
27.3% of series regular roles went to heavy working actors with numerous.
series recurring roles and/or series regular roles of shows that did not last.
2.0% of series regular roles went to true developmental actors."

I spent a number of days helping out at my agent's office during "pilot season" and can tell you that no matter how much he pitched it was hard to even get an audition for any talent who did not already have significant credits.  One of my agents was pitching me for a co-star role and they told her it had gone to an offer.

On top of all the roles going to offers many of the Pilots were filmed outside of LA.

"As of April 18th, Variety was reporting that confirmed Pilot Shoots will occur in:

United States
48 Los Angeles
11 New York (Unt. Susannah Grant, Over & Under, Unt. Redlich/Belluchi, Prime
Suspects, Smash, Weekend at Bellevue, Georgetown, Persons of Interest,
Ringer, Rookies and Pan Am)
4 Florida (Bad Mom, Magic City, The Finder, Angels)
4 Illinois (Cooper and Stone;; Boss, Playboy)
2 Georgia (Hail Mary, Partners)
2 New Mexico (Reconstruction, Longmire)
2 North Carolina (Revenge;; Hart of Dixie)
1 Oregon (Grimm)
1 Louisiana (Wild Card)
1 Texas (Good Christian Bitches)
1 Pennsylvania (Locke and Key)

Outside of the United States
5 Vancouver, Canada (17th Precinct, Secret Circle, Alcatraz, Heavenly and Once
Upon a Time)
2 Toronto, Canada (Awakening, Poe)
1 Prague/Rome/Vienna (Missing)
1 Puerto Rico (The River)
1 Montreal, Canada (Identity)"*

That tells me it is time to either marry a Canadian so I can legally work up there or make some magic happen with the local hire casting offices outside of LA. 

Now you can either take all this information and chose to be discouraged, but I don't think that is the right response.  I think it is even more evidence that you can't rely on other people to give you opportunities to do your art.  Create your own films!

Need some inspiration? See what your colleagues are creating by joining us at the Playhouse West Film Festival to be educated and inspired.


*See the complete 2011 PILOT REPORT from The Premier Talent Group

There is No Vacation from Following Your Dreams.

For my birthday this year I took a vacation.  I left LA for a week and did my best to not look at the breakdowns or obsess over what I wasn't getting called in on.  This week I tried to have a break where I didn't have to think about all this acting "career" stuff.  Sounds easy, right?

It isn't.  I already told you in my last post, It's Your Audition, Own It, I had to self-tape an audition while I was away. The truth is that I loved that I had to do that.  Whenever I take any break from my work towards my dreams, I am filled with regret.  I fear missed opportunities.

That is what makes pursuing your dreams so much different from so many other professions.  There are no true vacations and you always take your work home with you.

Since it is the last day of my vacation and blog writing is not my dream, I will keep this post short and end it here.