The other day I saw a guy I knew in a coffee commercial. Since I live in LA and know a lot of actors this is not unusual. I can't remember why I know this guy, maybe it was from a workshop or an audition, but I do remember thinking that he was arrogant and a total idiot. Clearly my opinion of people doesn't preclude them from booking a national commercial.
This is actually good news. What it means is that you don't have to make everybody like you. There will always be someone who doesn't like you and those people don't matter. Maybe they'll never ask you to be in their movie or cast you in a national commercial, but you can't worry about those people because you could be Meryl Streep and not make them happy.
I read some reviews of the movie, Drive, which I loved. A couple reviewers actually complained about Ryan Gosling's acting. If you know anything about acting, then you understand how crazy this is. But, it illustrates that no matter what you do there will be someone out there who will dislike it.
It's hard to let it roll off your back when someone doesn't like you. You know it's what you should do, but we operate in a business where more times than not it's the opinion of others that decides if you get a job or not.
Next time you find someone who doesn't like you, just keep moving on and the you will be sure to find someone who does.
Showing posts with label need approval. Show all posts
Showing posts with label need approval. Show all posts
Monday, December 5, 2011
Monday, November 14, 2011
Like Me, Please Like Me!
Edward Norton once said that one of the things he disliked about being an actor is that it's a career that requires other people giving you permission to do it. Unlike a painter or poet you can't just go to your basement and be an actor. Sure you could do a monologue for your stuffed animals, but an actor really needs an audience that listens and responds. You can't act in a vacuum.
Remember Sally Field winning the Oscar and her joy in realizing that they liked her, they really liked her? It took her winning an Oscar to figure that out? Wasn't she America's Sweetheart when she was Gidget? But, that lack of self-confidence is not uncommon in this industry which can have you being rejected on a daily basis. Even the most talented actors are worried about when the next job will come along or if there will ever even be a next job.
An actor friend came to me recently concerned that she wasn't being cast in the shorts and webseries her other actor friends were filming. She went into that downward spiral of questioning her talent, thinking she had none, and eventually landing on maybe it was time for her to give up. On the outside, you can look into this situation and see all kinds of possible reasons she wasn't cast. Maybe the parts weren't right for her or maybe they wrote parts specifically for someone who could bring in equipment or money. But, when you are the actor inside looking out, it's hard not to take it as a comment on your own abilities. We want so much for people to want us to be in their projects.
One reason actors constantly need approval from others is because we are unable to stand back and see our own work. This is especially true in theater, but even on film it is nearly impossible to judge ourselves. I remember an interview with Tea Leoni where she was asked if she ever watched herself in movies. She said no, she hated watching herself because she could never see past her huge front teeth. I've enjoyed a number of Tea Leoni movies and have never once noticed her front teeth.
We are terrible judges of ourselves. I know I am. I can't tell you how many auditions I was sure I bombed that I then got a callback or cast. And as far as looking to others for approval, what I've learned is that some people are going to like you no matter what. Other people will hate you and you won't be able to change their mind, even if you were Meryl Streep. You can't worry about what others think, eventually you'll find the people who like working with you and those are the ones worth worrying about.
Remember Sally Field winning the Oscar and her joy in realizing that they liked her, they really liked her? It took her winning an Oscar to figure that out? Wasn't she America's Sweetheart when she was Gidget? But, that lack of self-confidence is not uncommon in this industry which can have you being rejected on a daily basis. Even the most talented actors are worried about when the next job will come along or if there will ever even be a next job.
An actor friend came to me recently concerned that she wasn't being cast in the shorts and webseries her other actor friends were filming. She went into that downward spiral of questioning her talent, thinking she had none, and eventually landing on maybe it was time for her to give up. On the outside, you can look into this situation and see all kinds of possible reasons she wasn't cast. Maybe the parts weren't right for her or maybe they wrote parts specifically for someone who could bring in equipment or money. But, when you are the actor inside looking out, it's hard not to take it as a comment on your own abilities. We want so much for people to want us to be in their projects.
One reason actors constantly need approval from others is because we are unable to stand back and see our own work. This is especially true in theater, but even on film it is nearly impossible to judge ourselves. I remember an interview with Tea Leoni where she was asked if she ever watched herself in movies. She said no, she hated watching herself because she could never see past her huge front teeth. I've enjoyed a number of Tea Leoni movies and have never once noticed her front teeth.
We are terrible judges of ourselves. I know I am. I can't tell you how many auditions I was sure I bombed that I then got a callback or cast. And as far as looking to others for approval, what I've learned is that some people are going to like you no matter what. Other people will hate you and you won't be able to change their mind, even if you were Meryl Streep. You can't worry about what others think, eventually you'll find the people who like working with you and those are the ones worth worrying about.
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