Can you be Nice and Successful?

In Hollywood, there is a prevalent belief that the way to success is to step on everyone else on your way up, that you have to be willing to throw anyone who might be in your way into oncoming traffic.   It's true that this town is very cut throat and filled with competition.

But, I don't believe it's the only way for success in this crazy town.  Call me naive, but being nice can also get you work.  People want to work with people they like and, maybe I'm crazy, but I think people tend to like nice people.

Just watch movies, how often do you see the same people working together over and over again.  Many of the "big guys" like Judd Apatow and Adam Sandler have their group of people that they always cast in their movies.  Why?  Probably because they like working with them and they know that they are going to enjoy being on set for days on end.

Here is a little secret about me: most of the jobs I have had in this business are because I knew someone.  Sure, I've had a few gigs that I got from going to an audition, but often it's a call from a friend who needs a role filled immediately.  Why do they call me?  Because I am a hard worker and always do my best to be a pleasure to work with on set.  Basically, I make sure I am the person they want to work with over and over again.

So, is it better to be respected or liked?  I dunno ... but honestly I think I'd rather be liked.  If I work hard maybe the respect will come, maybe it won't.  But, I can't waste my time worrying if people respect me.  I'd rather be able to look at myself in the mirror and be happy with the person I am.

Like Me, Please Like Me!

Edward Norton once said that one of the things he disliked about being an actor is that it's a career that requires other people giving you permission to do it.  Unlike a painter or poet you can't just go to your basement and be an actor.  Sure you could do a monologue for your stuffed animals, but an actor really needs an audience that listens and responds.  You can't act in a vacuum.

Remember Sally Field winning the Oscar and her joy in realizing that they liked her, they really liked her?  It took her winning an Oscar to figure that out?  Wasn't she America's Sweetheart when she was Gidget?  But, that lack of self-confidence is not uncommon in this industry which can have you being rejected on a daily basis.  Even the most talented actors are worried about when the next job will come along or if there will ever even be a next job.

An actor friend came to me recently concerned that she wasn't being cast in the shorts and webseries her other actor friends were filming.  She went into that downward spiral of questioning her talent, thinking she had none, and eventually landing on maybe it was time for her to give up.  On the outside, you can look into this situation and see all kinds of possible reasons she wasn't cast.  Maybe the parts weren't right for her or maybe they wrote parts specifically for someone who could bring in equipment or money.  But, when you are the actor inside looking out, it's hard not to take it as a comment on your own abilities.  We want so much for people to want us to be in their projects.

One reason actors constantly need approval from others is because we are unable to stand back and see our own work.  This is especially true in theater, but even on film it is nearly impossible to judge ourselves.  I remember an interview with Tea Leoni where she was asked if she ever watched herself in movies.  She said no, she hated watching herself because she could never see past her huge front teeth.  I've enjoyed a number of Tea Leoni movies and have never once noticed her front teeth. 

We are terrible judges of ourselves.  I know I am.  I can't tell you how many auditions I was sure I bombed that I then got a callback or cast.  And as far as looking to others for approval, what I've learned is that some people are going to like you no matter what.  Other people will hate you and you won't be able to change their mind, even if you were Meryl Streep.  You can't worry about what others think, eventually you'll find the people who like working with you and those are the ones worth worrying about.

Proper Etiquette for No-Budget Filmmaking

I know filmmaking with little to no budget is difficult, stressful, and exhausting.  You are super busy and have no time for politeness.  But, when you have people helping you for free there is some proper etiquette that you should follow:

1. Be grateful.  Yes, your actors and crew may be getting something out of being there like experience or IMDb credit, but they are still giving you their time for free. Thank them every chance you get.   
2. Be prepared.   There is always going to be a certain amount of waiting on a set: while lights are being set up or actors are rehearsing or the set is being decorated.  Don't make your crew and actors wait on you because you didn't do your homework.  Know what you want to shoot and as much as possible know how you want it to look and do test shoots.  Things can change on set, but have a starting point.
3. Be open.  Filmmaking is a collaboration, always be willing to take advice from others on set.
4. Be humble.  No one is more important than anyone else on a set, especially on a no budget set.  I don't care what you think you're title is, if a job needs to be done, do it.  Even if it's just washing dishes between takes.
5. Be flexible.  Things never go as planned.  Don't freak out when a shot doesn't work or the neighbor's dogs won't stop barking or you're behind schedule and the sun is setting faster than you thought possible.  In the end it will all work out, I promise.  Besides so many wonderful moments in films have come from the unexpected happening on set.

What this all boils down to is when people are working for you:  BE RESPECTFUL! (Especially when they are working for free.)

Respect their time and their talents.  People will be happy and willing to help you out if they feel respected and know that they are an important part of the process. 

This is dedicated to all the actors and crew who came out to help me on my shoot over the last few days.  You are all amazing and this little film is going to be great because of all your hard work!