Like Me, Please Like Me!

Edward Norton once said that one of the things he disliked about being an actor is that it's a career that requires other people giving you permission to do it.  Unlike a painter or poet you can't just go to your basement and be an actor.  Sure you could do a monologue for your stuffed animals, but an actor really needs an audience that listens and responds.  You can't act in a vacuum.

Remember Sally Field winning the Oscar and her joy in realizing that they liked her, they really liked her?  It took her winning an Oscar to figure that out?  Wasn't she America's Sweetheart when she was Gidget?  But, that lack of self-confidence is not uncommon in this industry which can have you being rejected on a daily basis.  Even the most talented actors are worried about when the next job will come along or if there will ever even be a next job.

An actor friend came to me recently concerned that she wasn't being cast in the shorts and webseries her other actor friends were filming.  She went into that downward spiral of questioning her talent, thinking she had none, and eventually landing on maybe it was time for her to give up.  On the outside, you can look into this situation and see all kinds of possible reasons she wasn't cast.  Maybe the parts weren't right for her or maybe they wrote parts specifically for someone who could bring in equipment or money.  But, when you are the actor inside looking out, it's hard not to take it as a comment on your own abilities.  We want so much for people to want us to be in their projects.

One reason actors constantly need approval from others is because we are unable to stand back and see our own work.  This is especially true in theater, but even on film it is nearly impossible to judge ourselves.  I remember an interview with Tea Leoni where she was asked if she ever watched herself in movies.  She said no, she hated watching herself because she could never see past her huge front teeth.  I've enjoyed a number of Tea Leoni movies and have never once noticed her front teeth. 

We are terrible judges of ourselves.  I know I am.  I can't tell you how many auditions I was sure I bombed that I then got a callback or cast.  And as far as looking to others for approval, what I've learned is that some people are going to like you no matter what.  Other people will hate you and you won't be able to change their mind, even if you were Meryl Streep.  You can't worry about what others think, eventually you'll find the people who like working with you and those are the ones worth worrying about.

What I Learned at ActorFest

This past Saturday I went to ActorFest, a free event for actors from Backstage.  There were casting director meet and greets, panels (those cost extra), and lots of booths for things that might be of interest to actors, like Scientology and psychotherapists.  It's a lot like ComicCon minus cosplay and Kevin Smith. 

This is what I learned at ActorFest 2011:

1. There are a lot of companies that seem to exist for the sole purpose of separating actors from their money.
2. Actors will do anything for a chance to talk with a casting director, including standing in line for over 3 hours to have a two-minute chat.
3. However, most actors are not willing to get up before 9am. 
4. I have no idea what to say to a casting  director in a two-minute general meeting.
5. Casting director's also have no idea what to say to actors in a two-minute general and their go-to question is "So, where are you from?"  Better than, do you come here often?  I guess.
6. There are some very sketchy people out there trying to be actors.
7. There are people who look gorgeous at 8am standing outside in the freezing cold.  I assume these people are genetic freaks.
8. If you are going to be standing in line for most of a day, bring snacks.  And if you ask me, peanut butter cups have protein and are therefore good for you.
9. High heels make your butt look pretty and your feet hurt.  If you are going to be spending all day in line, bring flats.
10. Apparently, Irish-American doesn't count as diverse to NBC.

I'm always pro going to free events when you have nothing else going on.  You never know who you are going to meet or what you'll learn.  This weekend I got to meet some cool actors and chatted with a few casting directors.  I'm not sure how much can be learned about someone in two-minutes, but it is more than they knew about me before this weekend.

Yeah, I waited in lines for most of the day, but all in all a fairly productive way to spend a Saturday.  Now time to write the follow-up thank you notes.